Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Do blackbirds worry?

I was a bit grumpy today - and that doesn't happen often. I grumbled a little and moped a little and wandered aimlessly around town in the sun. I had a work meeting, viewed a couple of houses and met a friend for coffee. Then I came home and decided to take my green tea to the bench outside and just sit in the sun and be.

I watch the blackbirds. There are about six on the reserve in front of me. I remind myself that these creatures are real. They are alive - they have a beating heart and a working brain. I wonder what they think about. Mostly worms I imagine. They are bobbing around carelessly not even considering the fact that I am there. They do not have any interest in me or how I am feeling, they don't care that my car has broken or that I'm due back to work next week.  It then occurs to me why should anyone concern themselves with my issues? No matter how big they seem to me, really they are not going to affect anyone else. I see a cyclist whizz past and I wonder if he has any issues today. Without serious commitments (think children, mortgage etc) any issues I have are mine and only mine. The only person I am in fear of letting down is myself, I wonder why I am so hard to please when its just me generating my own expectations.

I have a quiet word to myself and go back inside, turn the radio on and sing way too loudly. This stops my grumpiness immediately and I decide that's my quota for the next few months!

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